under the stars

Last night i slept under the stars as i thought about my life and how reality doesn't seem real anymore or how the world seems to be crumbling at every breath i take.
Everything seems to be changing.
The meaning of love.
Families aren't really families anymore.
we aren't connected in the same way.
what having respect for someone is.
RELATIONSHIPS not only couples but friends.
....
life is different.
i understand it more and less than ever.
and i hope it doesn't continue.
because i'm lost in it.
but i'm really happy that i have Josh and Kheya to be by my side in all of this.
Even if they don't understand what goes through my brain at times...
they are still here for me.
it's hard to find people like that,
that don't judge you because you aren't exactly like them.
My friends except our differences...
and i love that.

I think i'm gunna go to sleep...out back again.
it's so nice out there...
and it really helps me keep my mind in reality and clear.

iloveyou.
Kenzy

idk.

Sometimes it seems like i have to much to say accept for when i'm at school.
there...my brain and mouth are silent. talking seems useless. idk. it's hard
but i've been up to my usual thinking lately. the kind where you can't sleep...or think straight.
life doesn't seem real...or at least as real. i've been questioning the reason WHY i was given this life anways. . . ? i guess to enjoy it right? but its so hard to figure this answer out. ok wow...sorry my keyboard is going soooo slow. it's like three words behind me!!! its annoying. uh! ok sorry. so like idk. i guess i just need to stop pondering this question of stupidity and live the life i was granted with. all of the blessings in it. it's amazing...but really hard to actually stay consciously in it.
ok. i'm done with this post. the key board is driving me insane.
<3

i'm not shurr i get it...

y girls can be sooo cruel sometimes?!

i've watched them talk about me in front of my face.

seen them look at me like i'm the worst person in the world.

listened to them start rumors about me.

but i don't do anything bout it.

it's not cuz i'm scared to.

i'm not going to go to their level of stupidity.

they think that's what life is about...

guys.

gossip.

"being best friends with everyone" even if you don't like them.

seeing how many friends you can make.

being really known at school.

sitting with the coolest people in school just so you can BE KNOWN!

when really all they ever do...

is talk about people.

start rumors.

kill people by making them go social suicide.

destroy their reputations....their lives.