nothin serious

this blog is all about my life and thoughts...pretty personal but definitely not as personal as it could get. :]

Sunday, April 26, 2009

on my roof

I'm sitting on my roof, my thinking spot.
I'm pretty lost right now because i've had a lot going on lately.
I'm stuck in the middle of things.
and I'm just giving up on other things.
I pretty much just don't want to believe i can get out of this hole.
All i do is dig really big holes for myself and just sit in them wishing i could get out even though there's a ladder sitting right next to me.
That's what i do.
That's the type of person i am.
There's a lot bout me that i need to change and a lot about me that i have yet to figure out.
It's weird how much getting fucked over by another person can have an impact on you and your decisions.
But i know i can change that.
I know that i have the capability to change the type of person i am.
But do i want to?
or do i just want to try to be accepted by other people?
or is it me that isn't accepting them?
is it my problems that are doing this?
or maybe its just who i am..
i wish i could know those parts of me that i don't understand or know yet.
maybe that would help me figure all of this out.
to come clean with myself.
I'm starving, but i'm not hungry.
I'm not strong, but i'm not weak.
I'm not everything, but i'm not nothing.
that's what i feel like.
There is so much in front of my face that i can't seem to grasp.
Everything up here is so clear.
There aren't any distractions.
it's just me.
and the sky.
endless sky.
just like my thoughts.
completely endless.
maybe they will end someday.
but before that day..i hope all my questions are answered.


Anonymous Mom said...

"When this old world starts to getting me down, and people are just too much for me to face,
I climb way up to the top of the stairs and all my cares just drift right into space.
On the roof it's peaceful as can be,
and there, the world below don't bother me.
So when I come home, feelin' tired and beat, I go up where the air is fresh and sweet,
I get far away from the bustlin' crowd and all that rat-race noise down in the street.
On the roof's the only place I know
where you just have to wish to make it so. Let's go, up on the roof.
And at night the stars put on a show for free, and Darlin' you can share it all with me.
Right smack dab in the middle of town I've found a paradise that's trouble-proof.
So, when this old world starts getting you down, there's room enough for two up on the roof."

-Carole King

One of my favorite songs ever!


Monday, June 15, 2009 10:23:00 PM  

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