nothin serious

this blog is all about my life and thoughts...pretty personal but definitely not as personal as it could get. :]

Monday, January 29, 2007

Hey guys!

Here is an update on my life right now, since I kinda left you all on a sad note on my last post.

Things are going well between my friend Tyler and I. We actually went to a movie last Friday, so that was fun. And things were just like old times.

But now Kheya and I are getting at eachother's throats, i think we just need a break from hanging out. :) I think that i'm finally bursting from putting up with some stuff she does that gets on my nerves for a really long time. Oh well.

Next, Sadee came back to school with me finally. Things i guess aren't the best in her life right now. A lot of stuff is going on with her family at the moment that i'm not going to get into. But things will adventually slow down for them, hopefully.

I've gotten used to the fact that Kheya and Sadee are moving. I don't think Sadee is going to be moving with her mom though. I'll have to tell you about that later when i know for sure what is going on. Kheya keeps talking about how Brian, her mom's boyfriend, has all of this money right now cuz he's not paying rent but they are planning on buying a wouldn't that mean that the money is going to be gone?! She keeps talking about how they are going to get all of this cool stuff and how all of the sudden her mom is going to become more "responsible" and just break out of her habit of leaving the house all the time. To tell you the truth i'm kinda worried about what is going to happen with that situation. But you know what, there really is nothing I can do about it but sit back and watch what happens.

Lets talk about ME now!!! lol....selfishness, i know. But oh well...haha. Anyways. My love life right now is kinda a LARGE part of my life at the moment. I don't really have much of one. But i know of maybe 4 guys that like me at the moment. I just hope that if anything happens with any of them....I dont make the wrong choice. It's hard to pick out which one i like the most. See, i like all of them haha. Kinda weird, but yeah I do. And of course I like the one I can't have the most...:( He doesn't really live in Arizona...:( so yeah...anyways! I'm done here....

Ill give you an update a little later...

Much Love!<3


Thursday, January 18, 2007

I'm All Mixed Up......


Life for me right now...Not to dandy. I'll list my problems for you and then we can get started...ok?

1. My "twin's" parents are getting divorced...i'm not going into details because it's not my place to tell all of you.

2. My "twin" and Kheya are both moving. That means that i get to see less of them....

3. One of my now former best friends isn't speaking to me and i don't know why.

4. My "Uncle" just passed away. But thank God that it was peaceful.

5. My life just sucks right now.

Ok. Those aren't all of my problems. Those are just my recent ones that have sent me on a break down. wow. yeah. serious break down. So much of one, half the time i don't even know what i'm upset or crying about. I went to karate tonight. We had to, of course, do punches and kicks and all of that fun stuff. Well most people have to make there face look intense and they have to make themselves angry at the item they are hitting at. Me....not so much. I had a kid tell me..."If you need to take it out of the pad go ahead, just don't hit me..." That made me i must not only feel angry and like shit, but i must really look like it too!(p.s. i was punching the punching bag so hard my knuckles were bleeding) Yeah. My life is pretty crazy right now. I know that i shouldn't be telling you all of this because i know and you know that all i want is sympathy when i really shouldn't ask for it at all. My Sunday School teacher said something about depressed people...That they are selfish; they want people to notice them and feel bad for them. I really don't want to become that way. And i know that i've already started down that path to unhappiness. I'm not asking you to point out to me when i'm doing this because that will just make me feel worse than i am now, But i am asking you to forgive me for everything i've done to you...


Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Early November and something that makes you think....

First off. This is by one of my new favorite bands. They are called The Early November. I actually saw them in concert on Saturday night when I went to another Fall Out Boy concert :D And I have to say. This one was soo much better than the last. Especially since I didn't have my dad with offence daddy. I love having you come...but...yeah I'm not going to explain that. teehee. :D

Mucho Loves.

A compelling or constraining influence such as moral force on the mind or will.


To be undecided or scepticle.

To tend to disbelieve and distrust.

To regard as unlikely.

That's doubt.

The condition of being insufficient or falling short.

To climb in strength or effectiveness.


The instinct to run.

To back away or give up.

To need.




The feeling to always want more.

And to take more.

The loss of breath at the sight of a car accident.

To drive by.

Never being able to feel satisfied.

And to reject anyone who tries.

This is my life.


That just gives you somthing to think about. Take it into deeper meaning than words. Think about your life. The things you've done. Personally. To others. Thought of. Soak it in as if it was your last breath. And then tell me how it made you feel. Because I know that it made strong emotions come through me that I didn't know I had. I never thought a simple song/reading could make you think so much.