nothin serious

this blog is all about my life and thoughts...pretty personal but definitely not as personal as it could get. :]

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Many Things to Say...

Tonight I went to Cody White's viewing. It was harsh, but I still did not shed a tear.

Tomorrow I will go to Cody White's funeral. It will be harsh, but, yet again, I will not shed a tear.

I completely understand everything that is going on and I definately understand death, but yet i'm one of the few people that doesn't express their sadness when it is needed or when it is "wanted." I guess that I tend to think of things more deeply and thoughtfully. This whole experience has helped me to understand that we are all the same on the inside and how much discomfort and pain we put eachother through. I don't think that we understand eachother no matter how close we are to eachother. The thoughts and feelings that go through us daily will never be understood by anyone else; the reasonings to why we get angry at eachother will never be understood by anyone besides ourselves, but even then, we don't understand ourselves most of the time. Life is thought to generally about by each of us daily. We see it as something that we do and then we are gone. That's it. I know that we each come to this question in our lives, but I know for a fact that we were each given life for a reason, God wanted us to live life for a reason. If he didn't he wouldn't have given us each an individual personality and features. We are to judgemental towards eachother. Half the time that's what drives people to the point of suicide. They may have been loved by many people but that doesn't mean that they knew they were loved. (This is probably the most confussing post i've ever written.) I think that we should never wait to long to show our emotions towards eachother because you never know when a life is going to end. We are all in suspence everyday; each of us waiting to know when our day will come. Some may take the path of choosing the day they go. I don't know what else to say right now. So i'm out.

Mucho Loves


Thursday, February 01, 2007

A teen that wasn't all about life.....

Today (this morning) my school, Poston Jr High, found out that a student had died. His name was Cody White. Everyone was talking, or at least those who knew. Some people started rumors about how he had "gone."

Well I found out, from a reliable source, that he had committed suicide by hanging himself.
I was, and am, very put down by this. I didn't personally know this teenager, I may have talked to him like once, maybe not...But just the thought of actually knowing someone that took their own life is...devastating. All of the pain and sadness that this simple act put upon so many people is amazing. Just the fact that I've even thought about committing suicide is amazing, this act helps me realize that I would never actually want to do that and cause so many people pain and sadness. I wish that something like this didn't have to happen for me to realize that. This is a hard subject to talk about and to come up with the right words to explain to emotions going through everyone's heads.

I've talked to some of my friends that didn't really treat him the best way they could have and I know they regretted doing so because they told me that. I was talking to a ninth grader at my school about this and she said," I never hated him but he used to get on my nerves and I wish I could take that back and spend more time with him. What's done is done now, but I think everyone should learn from this and how they treat people because you never know how fast they can disappear." That hit me in the forehead believe it or not. It made me regret all of the times I've mistreated people and even thought bad things about them. God put us here to love one another and to be here for eachother, he wants us to be kind and loving. I have everything I want to say about it in my head but it's all jumbled up so I can't really type it on here for you guys to read....srry bout that. :/

I just had to write about this, it truly made me realize how much all of us take advantage of life. I ask that all of us try not to get caught up in the "worldly" things in life and try to think of others more...Even the simplest things can put an impact on someone. Pass around a smile, a hug...Anything. But just realize that you don't have to go ALL OUT or you shouldn't have to go all out to please someone or make someone's day....:)

Rest In Peace Cody White....You'll be in my prayers and in my daily thoughts....