just read.
Obviously i'm a teenager. And according to most i'm just the average one that thinks my parents are the "spawn of the devil" and my life sucks. And yeah, sometimes i do think that, because i am the average teenager in some ways. Ya know...the experimental type that makes crazy desicions and not always the smartest one. Well that's my life in a nut shell.
I break trust a lot apparently...it's not one of my "great" quailities. But surprisingly i trust way too easily. I trust that everyone that i meet will treat me with respect and not be a total bitch to me err whatever. But seeing as i'm not always like that...i shouldn't expect that out of other people either huh? meh. don't answer that question. Anyways, since i'm such a rule breaker and a "wild child" my parents and other people's parents don't trust me a whole lot. And it's not necessarily that i actually do so, but that it's assumed. And if i ever seemed pissed off for no reason that is noticable it's usually because people assume things of me or "tease" me about them but they are actually serious. AND let me just lay this out on the table for ya so you can get a better understanding....it's called "Judging" just in case you didn't know. your welcome;]
So anyways, since i'm such a trouble maker my parents like to push my punishments to at least close to the MAX all the time. So why haven't i learned my lesson to not be such a dumb ass?...hmmm....just think about it. Cuz i'm not tellin the answer to this one. And i'm not going to lie...if you can't answer this question...i'm going to be judgmental here...your kinda a dumb ass too. I SHOULD START A DUMB ASS CLUB! woot. ill be president.
Your taking too long to answer...sorry. well let me just tell ya here. It's called rebellion. Sound familiar? If it isn't then you obviously haven't experienced it, at least yet. Now there is one caution that parentals need to take when it comes to "punishment" and that's pushing the child to rebellion. Or! to the point that they just begin to not care or at least act like it. SOMETIMES! they even work their way around the punishment. Now, lets talk a little bit about trust n'such just a little more.
For the parents to trust the kid they need to follow their "rules"....mkkk....so for the kid to trust the parents the parents need to give the kid chances to follow the "rules" even if it takes more than twice.
Ok. now lets talk about knowlege. Since, you know, parents know everything and everyone assumes that I think I know everything....there's a clash. Parents assume a LOT of things and always jump to the worst possible conclusions. all the time. When reallly they know verrrrry little that is actually going on. Because there is no actual trust in the kids in the first place. So the kid breaks the parents trust...but there was no trust to break in the first place. because when the kid turns 13 there's like an automatic trust break between both the parents and the kids. it's just some "hormonal" thing, because everything is blamed on hormones these days because, you know, teens don't have minds of their owns err something like that. and they are alllll having sex all the time because of their hormones err something like that right? I mean the only onese that don't "do it" during high school are the ones that either cant "get any" or just don't know anything about it. So since all of us teens are totally sexin it up there's no trust in us at all. It's assumed we all do drugs and drink. It's assumed that we don't make good decisions about who we date or talk to. And "true love" isn't even an option for us during these years because we don't know what that is. But you know why we "don't know" what it is? because it's hard to even be exposed to it these days.
Us Teenssss often get replaced as humans, we are just ALL trouble makers who listen to noise and drink alcohol and party all the time because we don't give a shit about our futures err somethin like that. i dunno you tell me. So why should you trust someone like this? well maybe if you trusted them more they wouldn't be like this? ya ever think of that? most don't. Because teens get a joy out of breaking their parents' rules, totally not gunna lie. It gives us a little independence. and a "thrill."
But since i'm just a dumb kid my opinion doesn't count.
PeAcE.
Me.
posted by Kenzy @ 11:30:00 PM
3 Comments:
Six people knew that there was to be no phone after 10:00, yet two of those people continually broke that rule, sometimes with the knowledge of the other four, sometimes not. Because the other four people are/were gracious suckers. Those same two people also chose to do some other things that, although romantic and exciting, were potentially dangerous to their well-being, and in fact, negatively affected their job performance at school. Hmmmm...
Then, those six people had a long discussion, and boundaries were reiterated and everybody knew what they were and agreed to abide by them. Lo and behold, those same two people again broke the 10:00 phone rule and tried to hide the fact. I wonder why they tried to hide the fact? Oh, I know. It's because the other four people are soooo judgmental and intolerant. (gotta keep my facts straight)
There are some things that you know in your heart of heart, Sister.
Here are a few of them:
You KNOW that we do NOT think you are stupid.
You KNOW that I have compassion for your situation, and the reason that you crossed over the phone boundary this last time.
You KNOW that the four of us desire your and Tanner's physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual well-being, and that these boundaries are there to help secure those things for both of you, because YOU KNOW that we love you.
You are not being mistreated.
Stop with the dramatics, already.
Love, (yes, I said LOVE)
Mom
At any moment in time, you are at the farthest edge of your life... not knowing what is ahead... until you decide to make what is ahead. You can choose what seems right or fair or fun or exciting or rebellious to you, or you can choose to learn from the successes and mistakes of others who have gone before you; who have wrestled with the same things and made their decisions.
I heard a saying once: "Learn from the mistakes of others, you won't live long enough to make them all yourself."
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."
Pr. 14:12 We are all right... in our own minds. Most of the things we venture into as teens (or young children or adults !!!) won't literally "kill" us. But some things have consequences that we cannot foresee at the time we engage in them. They have an unpleasant way of coming up in the future when we would not and could not expect !
"Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance." Pr. 20:18
Although my intent was to emphasize the "seeking advice" part, the last part does provide some insight too. If you choose rebellion, there are still things you can learn about rebellion from those who have gone before you !! Rebellion is a stance that diminishes trust. How can one trust a rebel ! Rebels are so unpredictable !! Maybe your rebellion is better... but everything is temporary !
Many have gone before you... most lived to encounter more glorious things than they thought they had in their teen years. Some stopped short... thinking they had to strongly cling to what they had at the time. Some did have to cling to what they had at the time because it was all they truly had. Where are you... really ! What is so vital that causes the desire for rebellion ! What will be your measure of success for your rebellion ?
Yes, you're finally hearing from me. Your thoughts on rebellion and trust caught my attention. You see rebellion as natural, normal, to be expected. But I don't hear you saying that this rejection of authority has added great joy to your life. Just that everyone goes through it. Yes, indeed they do. Some come out the other side with their brain cells and virginity intact, and others end up in rehab or pregnant. People who love you are supplying you with boundaries that can help you remain in the former category and avoid the latter. So you want them to remove these rules and welcome your rebellion? How silly. When rebellion is allowed, how can it be called rebellion? Wouldn't they be robbing you of the very thing that is supposedly helping you grow up?
There is something odd about a child telling the parent "don't give me too many rules, or I may feel compelled to break them". It reminds me of the person who has offended his brother telling him "you have to forgive me if you want God to forgive you." It is true that God forgives those who themselves forgive others, but it is not the place of the offender to point that out. It is up to him to repent and be worthy of forgiveness. It is up to use to find the lesson for ourselves and not for the other. Of course, it is always easier and more comfortable to find someone else's fault. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Problem is that when we only say that when we're talking about other people. When we're talking about ourselves, we say "hey, nobody's perfect, give me a break already". Try this instead. Give the other guy a break, and take the fault on yourself. Now try it with someone you're not in love with. Try it with the person you wish would just leave you alone, or just stop being themselves for five minutes. Try it with the person who is judging you. Give the sinner a break. And find your own fault. It's like looking into the sun. You want to look away because it hurts. Too often we do look away, and we don't learn a damned thing.
So, back to the parent/child thing. You're the child (as in person-of-minor-age, not little-baby-girl, so don't take offense at the word). As much as you seem to know about parenting, you are not a parent. Keep it all handy for when you do have children, but the information is of little use to you at the moment. What would be helpful to you right now is to know how to live under authority that you believe is too oppressive. Because those lessons will serve you the rest of your life. Hint: it is not always possible, even for adults, to get out of difficult relationships. Sometimes, we just have to deal. (And learn something about ourselves, as previously noted).
I wonder if I am one of those people that you assume not to "trust you". That's such a loaded phrase. Trusted with what? Trusted to do what? None of us trusts anyone implicitly, with everything, in all circumstances. Because none of us is purely trustworthy. So to hurl at someone "you don't trust me" is dishonest. It would be more helpful to get specific and say something like "you don't trust me to keep my word when I say I'll stay off the phone after 10pm". Uh, you're right, they don't. How about "you don't trust me to say no when he tries to kiss me and put his hand in my pants". Now we're talking. They'll probably say it's not about your personal integrity at that point. It's about knowing how that feels because they've been there. They could say it's about hormones, but that's sugarcoating it and you know it. It's about intimacy, sensuality and sex. It’s about the fact that saying no, getting up off the couch and walking out the door is difficult, and quite frequently impossible.
And so they try to give you tools that will help you. Boundaries. Curfews. Rules. Or would you rather they just hand you a condom and the keys to the car?
What exactly are you looking for? And what are you learning about yourself in all this?
Those are not rhetorical questions.
Love, (yup!)
Teri
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