no subject
lately,
i don't know.
i'm a little lost. and i don't know what to think. sometimes you think you've found the right piece to the puzzle, but there's something a little off that makes it not fit quite right.
things are over.
but friends seems perfect. things happen fast; everything goes by like a lightening strike. I'm trying to live my life without regrets, but i guess you can't escape them. i'm not exactly okay, but i am a little more put to peace than i was.
i've realized that our lives revolve around trust. You trust that you will wake up every morning to live your normal life for another day. you trust that if you go to take a shower, the water will come out of the spout. you trust that the garbage man will come a few times a week. you trust that your work will be there when you arrive. you trust that your school and the people in it will be there when you arrive. you trust that your teachers will grade your papers so you can have a transcript and maybe some day go to college. you trust your parents from the beginning of your life. you trust they will dress, feed and bathe you daily till you can do so yourself. you trust that they will give you your needs. and when they don't, and break that special trust you become "messed up".
your mind takes it as abandonment, as though you aren't loved.
when you fall in love, you trust the other person to be gentle with your heart. you trust them to take it and care for it like their own. you trust them to be only with you, and to not split your heart in half. you trust them to only dream of you at night. and you trust them to only think of you during the day. you trust them to not take advantage of the things you have going for you, or just who you are. you trust them to love you back, and only to love you.
but part of the fall of mankind is that the trust is broken a lot.
and there is always a person it effects.
each decision you make has an effect.
CAUSE and EFFECT.
just keep praying people keep trusting others.
and our pride will subside one of these days....
:[
Kenzy
posted by Kenzy @ 12:45:00 AM
3 Comments:
As you grow older and keep testing this little experiment called "love" "relationships" (whatever) you'll come to realize there are certain things you just don't have control over. You learn that you can't make people change. You can't make someone think about you. You can't make someone love you back. You learn what is okay for you and what isn't. You learn more about what you need. At the end of the day all you have left are decisions. You make them and go about your way living with the consequences. And it's through this process that we learn. We fall down and then we get up, hopefully a little smarter. Just keep on keepin' on lil sis. One day at a time. I love you.
There is something within us that says "TRUST", because we are created in the image of the One who is unchangable, thus absolutely trustworthy. He is "the same yesterday, today and tomorrow" as Hebrews says. But in order for we as created beings to be "trust worthy" we are created changeable. We can conform ourselves to God who is Love or change into beasts that run from act to act, from thing to thing, from experience to experience without love, or with the illusion that it IS love we are running to when in fact it is just another passionate fulfillment of a want. And in doing so we abandon God and love and trust and trust worthiness, and we break other people. But we don't realize that it is ourselves we are breaking. Eve trusted Adam. Adam trusted Eve. But when they sinned, Eve trusted the serpent, not Adam, not God. Then she gave Adam the poisoned fruit, then Adam blamed Eve before God for his sin. All trust was lost. All love was gone. All hell broke loose. All mankind was cast into darkness and death. No one since then can be trusted except He who loved us to death. And even then, those He loved killed Him. This is why we are cautious about giving ourselves completely to someone, they may take all you give and then kill you. We all collect scars as we trust and love and are broken, but there always remains a tender place for someone else. But we guard it more carefully the next time. Eventually someone comes along that will be gentle forever, will only dream of you after more than three months or even a year, and love and trust will become a universe to explore together without fear. You can't make that happen. You can't bribe people into it by giving more and more when all they are in it for is to take and take, no matter how good it makes you feel to be giving. All we can know is who we are, and that is all we can give someone is "ourself". We learn who other people are, and if they know themselves, and if they are giving us their true self the hard way, so we must go slowly and trust cautiously. "Love endures all things, believes all things, hopes all things" St. Paul says. That is why love hurts sometimes, because lovers harm us, lie to us and leave us: they crucify us. But someone is out there who will endure all things, believe all things and hope all things about us. And two people who do that for each other will find the love of God through each other.
The short version is: boys are pigs, don't cast your pearls before swine lest they trample your gifts and tear you apart (as Jesus said...) Trust and love are the greatest gifts we can give to another human being. Be careful who you give them to.
Very good advice from two men who love you very much.
Love,
Mom
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home