hmmm...
ROMANS 7&8:"For that which I am doing, I do not understand, for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate....For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, for the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death."
this is me.
my life.
the way i am.
the way i wish it was.
i wish i could stop the things i do.
i wish i really could become something with God.
i wish i'd stop breaking relationships with people.
and mostly Him.
i miss Him.
posted by Kenzy @ 7:04:00 PM
5 Comments:
You are in good company! "WE" are in good company!
I always forget that it was/is a Saint who wrote those words and then I puzzle over that. How in the world could St. Paul say he didn't do that which he should have and visa versa? I mean, afterall, the guy is a saint!!
Then I think...hey! He was just like me. Hmmm...maybe, just maybe, a little at a time I can come to a little bit of what he is. Geesh, the guy denied Christ 3 times yet Christ told him to "feed My sheep."
It is a battle between our "old" (read that as "sinful") self - and the "new" (saved and sanctified) self. The two war all the time. And it is a tough one. But eventually, with a lot of hard work, the "new guy" wins out...or so I am told. :o)
Have you considered asked the Archangel Michael to help you? My spiritual father suggested that to me because he is a warrior saint and has the legions of angels at his command. I have found that Archangel Michael has been helpful to me to help be strong in difficult and scary days (which are most everyday lately). Just a thought.
The other good thing that brings me a TON of comfort is no matter how many times I break relationship with Him, as soon as I turn around and say meaningfully "Hey God, I'm like really sorry I dissed you." He's running full tilt towards me to sweep me up in His arms, just like the prodigal son's father. I love that image and it helps me tons.
Hang tough Kenzy. You are a fighter, that much is clear. And that is a good thing.
Check out Archangel Michael. Whadda ya got to lose?
"Hugs" from an East Coast Mom
Whoops! It was not St. Paul that denied Christ 3 times!! It was St. Peter.
Guess I better go back and re-read to get these guys straight!
I NEED COFFEE!!
"Hugs" from an East Coast Mom
Thanks a million!
that really helped:]
i understand what you mean.
and i have knowledge of the fact that He is always there for me.
but i don't have knowledge of the day that my life will be done.
and that's what makes me wonder just how many times i can screw up to get it...that i won't ALWAYS have another day to straighten things out.
thank you.
-kenzy
Hey Kenzy, you have brought up an excellent point when you wrote, "just how many times i can screw up to get it...that i won't ALWAYS have another day to straighten things out."
I ask the same thing and geesh...I'm 'supposed to be' a GROWN UP! YIKES! But what brings me a LOT of comfort is knowing that if in one nano second I screw up and the next nano second I realize it, THAT in itself is a kind of repentance.
Whoa!
Then that thought gives me the opportunity to follow through to the next one that says, "Hey, wait a sec. Hey GOD, ya know like, forgive me." And He does.
I do not want to discourage you by what I write. No single person has ALL the answers to everything. But there are some people out there who have some wisdom and stuff like that. I had to make the choice to trust one of them. It was my husband. I'm glad I did. It helped me get through some very dark and sad days these past couple of years.
Ya doin' good girl! Keep your eye on the target. Aim true! You'll hit it.
Have you ever seen the sculpture of St. Michael the Archangel? If not, ya gotta check it out here (http://tinyurl.com/5sd2ch). It is totally awesome. And it helps me feel safe...and even strong.
"Hugs" from an East Coast Mom
The teacher said:
"There are two dogs that fight inside me."
Someone asked, "Which one will win?"
The teacher replied, "The one I feed the most."
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