Help me.
I think I'm gone. I can't talk anymore. I don't write but rarely. I don't open up. I'm SCREAMING inside myself. I don't remember how to cry. ALL I WANT IS OUT! that's all I fucking want! I'm scared of myself. I don't know if I can control my anger and selfishness. I'm scared that I may be gone. . . like really gone. I don't seem to have symapathy for anyone BUT myself. ALL I WANT TO DO IS SCREAM! I want to drive out to the middle of no where and scream till I die. Not even the thought of love and family and friends fazes me anymore. All i can think about is ME ME ME!!! I'm fucking TIRED OF THIS! IM DONE! i don't feel the need to move on with my life anymore.................I'm scared.....
Help me.
plz.
posted by Kenzy @ 8:12:00 PM
1 Comments:
Not to be overly philosophical, but you have written about both the pain and the cause. The "pleasure" of Narcissism is its own punishment and torture. It feels good to be self centered and all about "me" when everything is about you, but the fruit of it is hell, just like CS Lewis talked about. Hell if the ultimate self centered existence. That is why Jesus describes it as a dark place where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth... "the middle of nowhere and screaming".... The only way out is to get out of yourself and MAKE your world revolve around someone else's needs and problems and something else that benefits someone else for a while. You haven't lost yourself, you are seeing yourself for where you are very clearly. The mirror doesn't lie. Will you break the mirror or accept its truth? That's the hard question.
It sucks to be lost. It is hard to find yourself once you feel like you've lost yourself. But you are really still there, you just need to BE who you are, not who you aren't.
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