I'm All Mixed Up......
Sigh....
Life for me right now...Not to dandy. I'll list my problems for you and then we can get started...ok?
1. My "twin's" parents are getting divorced...i'm not going into details because it's not my place to tell all of you.
2. My "twin" and Kheya are both moving. That means that i get to see less of them....
3. One of my now former best friends isn't speaking to me and i don't know why.
4. My "Uncle" just passed away. But thank God that it was peaceful.
5. My life just sucks right now.
Ok. Those aren't all of my problems. Those are just my recent ones that have sent me on a break down. wow. yeah. serious break down. So much of one, half the time i don't even know what i'm upset or crying about. I went to karate tonight. We had to, of course, do punches and kicks and all of that fun stuff. Well most people have to make there face look intense and they have to make themselves angry at the item they are hitting at. Me....not so much. I had a kid tell me..."If you need to take it out of the pad go ahead, just don't hit me..." That made me think...wow i must not only feel angry and like shit, but i must really look like it too!(p.s. i was punching the punching bag so hard my knuckles were bleeding) Yeah. My life is pretty crazy right now. I know that i shouldn't be telling you all of this because i know and you know that all i want is sympathy when i really shouldn't ask for it at all. My Sunday School teacher said something about depressed people...That they are selfish; they want people to notice them and feel bad for them. I really don't want to become that way. And i know that i've already started down that path to unhappiness. I'm not asking you to point out to me when i'm doing this because that will just make me feel worse than i am now, But i am asking you to forgive me for everything i've done to you...
<3
Kenzy
posted by Kenzy @ 9:58:00 PM
1 Comments:
Sometimes depressed people are depressed because life does suck and they are facing reality and not running away from it. Not all "happy people" are unselfish and DON'T want to be noticed. They can be just as self centered as a depressed person. The reality is, God knows we suffer. That is why Jesus said "If I go, I will send the Holy Spirit, the Comforter..." If we don't need comforting from someone else why would Jesus send the Holy Spirit and why would St. Paul tell us to "weep with those who weep?" Yeah, life IS crazy, even when we don't THINK it is sometimes. We need other people and that's why it hurts when they aren't there for us whether its our parents, friends, spouses etc. Needing other people and being sad when other people aren't there isn't depression, it is how we are created. So be sad, because that is how we are supposed to be when sin and death break our friendships and life. "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."
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